If I have learned ONE thing along this fucking awesome journey of being a life coach for singles, it’s this —
We make meeting people and starting relationships WAY MORE COMPLICATED than it has to be.
I mean, seriously. We are all SO freakin’ scared of getting hurt that we’ve developed bullshit systems to try to safeguard our hearts. Things like lists — “well, if he doesn’t have a 401K, I’m not even considering it,” rules — “we hung out last night, I can’t call him today,” and games — “if he doesn’t answer my text in 3 minutes or less, I’m not responding to him for 10 minutes.”
Don’t give me that look. I know you and your bullshit power plays. I also know what they guarantee, because they do actually come with a guarantee.
Your lists, rules, and games guarantee that no one is ever getting close to you. No one. EVER. Then we get together with the girls, pour the wine, and start shouting “Where is MY Jake Ryan?” (Insert ugly cry face here.)
God, I LOVE Jake Ryan. But seriously, even JAKE RYAN wouldn’t have a chance because you don’t know how to talk to him. Well, lucky for YOU sugarpants, I am going to show you how it’s done.
Let’s say you meet a great guy, hit it off, and as the chat is wrapping up you’re not quite sure what to do. Do you ask him out? Do you bat your eyelashes in some kind of flirtatious morse code and hope that he “gets it?” Do you get so drunk that you grab his face and make out with him — I mean, he HAS to get that, right?
What’s a girl to do?
OH, I have an idea!!! Communicate!!!
Listen, in this wacky world of dating and mating, we all get nervous and excited. All of us. And pretty much none of us knows what the eff we’re doing. Including Mr. Great Guy you’re sorta into in this scenario. He’s even more lost than you are, and he definitely doesn’t read minds.
This is why it’s SO important that you TELL HIM that you’re interested. Rejection is hard and Mr. Great Guy might think he has ZERO chance with you. But if you let him know you kinda like him, you’ve opened the door for him to actually ask you out, make a move, or take a chance. I get that this is scary and totally outside of your comfort zone, which is why I’ve made it SUPER simple for you.
So here is the very easy way to let someone know you are interested without making an ass of yourself.
As things are closing up, you look him in the eye and slowly say “I had such an amazing time talking with you. I would really love to do it again sometime.” If you really want to seal the deal, you touch him lightly on the arm as you say it. That’s it. Really.
I realize this isn’t rocket science, but it can put your mind at rest which is a HUGE part of the beginning of dating. No more wondering if he’ll ask you out, if he likes you, if he knows that you’re interested. When you make things clear, you save yourself from hopping on the crazy train. Because when our minds get on the crazy train… we overthink, we obsess, and we often downright sabotage a blossoming relationship without even knowing it. I know you would never do that, right?
I realize this doesn’t nearly cover all of the awkward conversations that come along with dating, which is why I created “What To Say When You Don’t Know What the Fuck To Say.” It’s a series of done-for-you scripts that make those super tough convos super simple. So in case you’re no longer interested in Mr. Great Guy after dates 1, 2, or 3, OR if you want to make things more “official,” you’ll know just what to say.
Grab yours below.