The lessons that I learned and applied lead me to find a love that I never dreamt possible, and we’re getting married in June. Just to name a few things that I learned/applied that lead me to where I am:
Probably most importantly COMMUNICATE – what you want, what you like, what you don’t; it’s OK to communicate these things and can lead to a stronger, healthier relationship. I look back at how and who I dated and can see how much I grew just from your podcasts and class. So thank you – I’m truly happier than I ever thought was possible. I realized who I was and what I wanted through your class, and I found someone who loves me for me, treats me well, supports me, you name it…
Right now I am in the best relationship of my life and I do not say that lightly. We have been in a relationship for 15 months. It’s a relationship filled with mutual respect and love. We communicate very well together and are deeply in love with each other. We both have past hurts that creep up sometimes and I’m most proud that we can communicate so well so we know what we need from each other.
Last week he said something unintentionally that hurt me and I was able to articulate what it was that he said and how it made me feel and he was able to immediately realize why I would feel that way. We talked it out and it was a very grown up conversation.
I can’t believe it took me 7 years to find him but it was worth the wait. I just now texted him and asked him if he had anything to add and he said ‘Life is best when shared with someone special. Keep it light and full of laughter’.
That sums up our relationship so well.
Forever grateful for Kira and the hard work she does with helping other women be who they were meant to be.
Before the OM I felt like I only chose unavailable men. They were in another relationship, emotionally unavailable, long-distance, demanding jobs…But the OM showed me that I was being unavailable because I was not showing up fully as myself and asking for what was important to me.
I also learned that I needed to to look for men who I deserved to have in my life, vs me trying to fit the desires and lifestyles or “who they were looking for”
I was able to find a partner who had the same interest and ability to communicate, be introspective, supportive, show up fully for each other daily, and share intimacy. We are deeply grateful for what we have each day yet are committed to growth as individuals and as a couple.
I’m so thankful I did the OM and know I wouldn’t be in this much better place without it. I feel WAY better equipped when it comes to dating and relationships. Working with Kira in person is AWESOME, and she’s one of my biggest cheerleaders.
My friendships have gotten so much stronger. Now when I have a problem my friends say things like: how can I support you in this moment? What’s really going on in this situation that’s making you feel this way? I’ve gotten better at teaching people how to treat me.
This process isn’t about finding the perfect relationship with a romantic partner; this class is about improving your relationship with yourself, and all the “ships” you have in life: family, friends, coworkers, AND significant others.
Once I met Bryan, I knew this time it would be different. I immediately went into OM mode. I set a boundary (him not needing to see me every day) & he followed it. I set another boundary (him buying me dinner all the time….a previous abusive relationship trigger) and he followed it. (Rinse and repeat for the last 5 months!) And yes, he sets them too.
We talk all the time about us. Asking how each others day is, how we can help each other through things, and what (if any) is working our last nerve so those tiny things don’t come up in a disagreement for no reason. We talk when things aren’t comfortable and that includes those uncomfortable triggers…but we work through them TOGETHER!
I now feel like a happy, content, fulfilled, joyful & a better, empowered woman!
Every single woman on this earth should do this. Married, divorced, single, widowed, etc. It’s about personal development.
We met three months ago in a serendipitous and spontaneous gathering of mutual friends at a concert in Chicago, and have been enjoying and building a slow-going but steady friendship and relationship since.
In the early weeks, he chuckled and called me a “fucking unicorn,” and has since nicknamed me “Uni” for short. He calls me every morning to hear my live voice vs texting (score!), and all of our friends say the connection they see (and we feel) is undeniable.
Looking forward to future things. So grateful for the OM !
I’ve been seeing my new man-friend for 4 months now, and we had a two hour conversation last night about how neither of us would have been ready for what we are building prior to this time in our lives. We each have different strategies for how we’re working on ourselves so as to be able to be present and active in our relationship – and the OM class was a huge part of my growth.
Valuing myself, greater self-awareness, knowing what a relationship can and can’t do for me, understanding and feeling comfortable communicating boundaries, asking for (and knowing) what I need, sitting in vulnerability, realizing when I’m telling stories about who I am/he is (versus really looking at what actually is), being realistic and honest with myself and him about my own issues — these are all things I am more able to do because of the work that was spurred on during the OM class.
Thank you Kira!
Leah – Madison, WI (now 2 years and counting!)
Kira gave me the real talk I needed; she had me put on my big girl panties and take a good look at myself and what I wanted.
The growth I experienced from her coaching helped me transform my attitude about dating, and I’ve since snagged the love of my life (who loves my big girl panties btw) and I’m exactly where I want to be!!
– Jeanne, Madison, WI (now happily married)
Tonight we are going to review my Owner’s Manual and begin talks about living together! I’m so excited (and not anxious) to hear his thoughts and share mine. I have never had a relationship like this before where I am comfy being myself.
I am where I am because of what I learned from you…I’m open, informed, in touch with who I am and what I want and need! Thank you from my whole heart! You rocked my fucking world Kira!!
Since I’ve started working with Kira my life, not just my relationships, has done a complete 180°. She has helped me to create all of the things I wanted for myself, but was too afraid to go after, or didn’t know how to ask for.
It is not always easy, she has definitely been the person in my life to make me listen to the things I don’t always want to hear, but it is absolutely worth it. Now that I am happier and feeling fulfilled in the rest of my life, I can focus on building a healthy relationship. I’m no longer letting my relationships control me and how I feel about myself.
Kira has helped me take back control of my life.
Before I decided to begin the Owner’s Manual, I was struggling to extricate myself from a relationship that had slowly dimmed my light. My life was bountiful and good in every area except my personal relationship, and I allowed that relationship to make everything seem grey. I had been cheated on multiple times by a person who said I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and that he loved me very much. When we actually spent time together, it was fun and engaging. And when we were apart (even sometimes when we were together, if I’m really honest), I found myself spinning about where he was, what he was doing, who he was talking to, why his phone was buzzing, what he actually meant when he told me something – and it was utterly sad and exhausting. I thought I would never find better.
In the beginning, the process sucked. And it sucked badly! The very first day of class, literally a few hours before the first call, I found out YET AGAIN my partner had cheated on me. I got the crying award on the very first call! But the cheating thing isn’t why it sucked (nor the, embarrassing at the time, crying on the call). The beginning of the process sucked because I had to finally face my insecurities, call them out by name, look them in the eye. It abso-fucking-lutely was not easy to start. But starting was the hardest part. 🙂
Nowadays, I approach dating with excitement! I feel much more comfortable setting boundaries and doing so in a kind way. I don’t have an all or nothing mentality anymore. I’m not looking for Mr. Right, and I’m certainly not looking for Mr. Right-Now! I approach each new person with curiosity and wonder. I’ve certainly declined a few second dates, but I’ve also made some new friends. And each day I’m one date, one conversation, one experience closer to finding someone with whom I choose to create a great relationship – and who will choose to create one with me.