I am going to keep this short and sweet today. Ok, maybe not that sweet.
If you want a psychic, go hire one.
If you want an awesome relationship, you effin’ create one.
You create a relationship by letting people in on what is going on in our heads. By letting them in on the weird and wacky world that exists in there. You know it is.
I have seen this trend lately where we believe someone “gets” us or loves us more if they can figure out what we are thinking at all times. That proves that they love us.
Who told you that shit? If you know who did, take away their wine for a week and send them to bed without their supper!
People do not show their love by randomly guessing correctly what is going on in that very, very complicated place we call our brain, they show love by asking questions, listening, supporting and learning.
I don’t know about you but I can be thinking about Kevin Bacon one second and the kitten video I watched that morning the next. I mean literally the next second. It all connected in my head, but why would I expect anyone else to keep up?
When we make them guess or put these wackadoo expectations on them, it is not them who sucks by not knowing what is going through your head (I mean be honest, you can barely keep up yourself some days.) It is you for making them guess. Playing games. Punishing them when they don’t know. Making them feel like a lesser person in the relationship because that can’t read your mind. That is just setting them up for failure and why would you want the most important person in your life to fail? How is that creating an incredible relationship?
Amazing and healthy relationships happen when both people get to win on a regular basis.
When both people get to feel great. Every move you make, every breath you take should be working towards asking questions, really listening to answers and understanding each other. See what I did there? I love Sting…….
So that is why when someone asks you “what’s wrong?” Tell them.
If you are interested, let them know. Sometimes they may need you to NOT be subtle:)
If you are having a bad day, explain it to them. Then they can know it is not about them.
If you have expectations about something, share them. That is how they can actually reach them or help figure out what can work for both of you.
At the end of the day, you just want to let them in. No matter how scary it is. You may be shocked at how amazing they can be….once you let them.