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OH, HEY, SUGARPANTS! GATHER ‘ROUND THE CAMPFIRE.

I’ll share my story (and my bag of marshmallows #winning) while you cozy up and get comfy.

I’m Kira.

I’m one-part unicorn (actual genetics, look it up), one-part sweary fairy godmother and all-parts devoted to helping you realize that you are not fucked up, broken or unlovable … and that, you know, you’re actually a pretty fricken fabulous woman worthy of happiness, love and a mind-blowingly beautiful relationship where you wake up feeling loved every. single. day.

I’m a positive psychology practitioner and certified coach. But more importantly?

I’ve been doing this thing for over ten fucking years. I’m obsessed with having the bigger conversations around love and relationships. The ones that nobody else is having … but everyone should.

And, sugarpants, I’ve been where you are.

Not in a vague, “Oh I get it,” way. But, I’ve seriously been where you are.

Watching all your friends get married and start families … while you spend your Saturday evenings in with a take-out menu and a cat. The cat isn’t even yours, by the way. It just sensed your single-ness and started showing up one day. Which is fine, ‘cause cat hair is the new glitter, right?
(Kidding.)

All while your friends tell you what an amazing, incredible, adventurous woman you are …

… And you wonder, “If I’m so fucking great, then why am I still single?”

Breathe, Hot Pants. I got you.

Speed Date

NICKNAME: Troop Leader of Love, Ringmaster of the Dating Shitshow

AGE: 45

HANGING OUT IN: Madison,Wisconsin (but heading somewhere new soon …)

HUSBAND AS OF 9/2018: Danny

FURBABIES: Rex, the dog, and Ruby, the cat

SOULMATE: Cheese

#WOMANCRUSH: Tie between Brene Brown, Oprah, Melissa McCarthy & Kristen Bell

CAN SPEAK: Norwegian (a little) and No Bullshit (fluent).

COFFEE: Put hair on your chest strong.

BLACKBELT IN: Ridiculous

GUILY PLEASURE: Foster kitten accounts on instagram like @kittenxlady

FORMERLY: Worked on a cruise ship. Yes, just like Julie McCoy from the Love Boat.

SECRETLY: Messy #notsorry

REFORMED: People pleaser & scared shitless of being vulnerable.

I get you, because I was you.

In addition to having coached single women all the way from San Diego to Singapore since 2007 (and being a positive psychology practitioner and professional certified coach), I am also well-versed in the not-so-fabulous art of being really fucking single. When I was actually dating (if we could call it that), I seemed to get friend-zoned by the guys I did like or the few times we did connect, I would bend myself into a pretzel just hoping they would love me and stay. Spoiler alert! They didn’t.

After a ton of self-work and research, I stopped doing all the weird shit that we’re told we should do, and put everything I had learned into practice, creating an amazing relationship at 41 years old. In a town of less than 5,000. While I was at my heaviest weight.

Boom.

So yes, you’re single.

Yes, you’ve probably had some really, really shitty relationships. Or no relationships at all, because that shit can be scary. And yes, you’re probably frustrated as hell right now.

But it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. ‘Cause the reality is … You just haven’t been taught how to create a good relationship. Yep, create a relationship … not FIND a relationship! It’s not hiding under a bush and you’re not on some epic treasure hunt.

Great relationships don’t fall out of the sky, accompanied by a chubby little winged Cupid. Great relationships are created by two highly imperfect human beings complete with flaws, insecurities and past experiences that have left them wary, tired and scared. #realtalk

So, hotpants, you have to know your stuff to make it work.

‘Cause I don’t give a shit about how many dating apps you’re on. I don’t care how many people you’re meeting. I don’t care if you hire the best matchmaker in the business. Because if you have no idea how to create an awesome relationship with another person, then you’re gonna end up in the same place.

Which looks like:
  • Ticking ‘Just me’ on another Save the Date card.
  • Netflix and chilling with somebody that makes you feel ill … ing (sorry, it had to rhyme).
  • Reading another fucking “How to find/hustle/capture/hunt/hypnotize/tie-up/get the/a/any man” book by another love expert. Like men are some scared rabbits we have to catch and pray they stay! Gee, that doesn’t give away all of our power, right
  • Dreading special events like birthdays, holidays and long weekends, ‘cause it’s just another reminder That. You’re. Alone.

But if you’re scratching your head like…

“How the hell do I create an awesome relationship, Kira? I just need to know where to meet great men, right? Won’t everything fall into place then?”

Nope.

I’m not a matchmaker here to find you your soulmate, or an online dating expert who is going to rewrite your profile so you can pretend that you are the “cool girl” for the first few months while you privately lose your shit. I’m not even here just to score you a date or get you into any old relationship.

It goes deeper than that. This isn’t just about love and dating. This is about believing in yourself and learning how to have the self-awareness and tools to be more confident, deal with rejection, and be a lot more resilient when you are dating.

To be able to spot things that aren’t working…

and walk away right away, versus holding on and brewing up a shitstorm of emotional chaos. And to be able to teach people how to treat you, because you know your worth.

So no, everything will not fall into place once you find somebody new who hasn’t yet encountered your unique assortment of emotional baggage.

But everything gets a ton easier when you know your self-worth, understand how healthy relationships work and get vulnerable enough for people to know how to love you.

Which isn’t as easy as just swiping right.

Cultivating these relationship skills requires knowledge and practice to apply it to your life. These are learned skills; no one is just born knowing how to have tough conversations or set a boundary and sadly we were never taught them in school.

That’s why the divorce rate is so high, yo.

Most people don’t know how to be in relationships. So, trust me, you’re not alone in not knowing this stuff. But, hotpants, if you want it, it’s also your job to learn it.

Which is what I’m here to help you do.

And I have a team and community behind me that can’t wait to support, cheerlead and empower the fuck out of you on your way to creating (I’m nudging you right now) a healthy and loving relationship!

Together, we’re going to call bullshit on the beliefs that are sabotaging your happiness and relationships —and keep you accountable on your love adventure.

‘Cause that’s what this is, HotPants. An adventure. One that we’re in together.

MEET THE TEAM of awesomeness

AGE: 37

HANGING OUT IN: NYC

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single & open to love

FURBABIES: I’m allergic but I still want a French Bulldog.

SOULMATE: Chris Evans plus Sterling K. Brown

#WOMANCRUSH: Tie between Viola Davis, Regina Anaejinou & Layla Saad 

YOU WILL FIND ME DRINKING:  Caramel macchiato w/almond milk or a glass of champagne

PASSIONATE ABOUT: Love, understanding men, understanding myself, the rights of POC & women, food, traveling, helping women slay their lives

 

SECRETLY: An actress. I will reenact scenes that I love in private. Recently I’ve been Olivia Pope, Meredith Grey, and Michonne from The Walking Dead.

BLACKBELT IN: 90’s R&B

GUILY PLEASURE: General Hospital

FORMERLY: Graduated from Performing Arts H.S. with drama degree (like Fame!)

REFORMED: Good girl who says the right things, is afraid to admit I don’t know something, thinks I have to get it right otherwise what will people think of me?! Answer: Whatever they want. I’m more concerned with what I think about me.

COACHING STYLE: I’m able to get to the emotional core of your struggles with deep empathy and compassion. I walk alongside you when you’re struggling & work with you to get to the other side with courage & radical honesty.

AGE: 38

HANGING OUT IN: Rochester, NYC

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Partnered

OFFSPRING: Awesome kid. 12 years old.

SOULMATE: I’m so lucky to have a ton of ’em this lifetime. My mom, my man and my friends.

YOU WILL FIND ME DRINKING: You will find me drinking: Americanos, strong

PASSIONATE ABOUT: Freedom

SECRETLY: Had a brief flirtation with dreadlocks way back when. All photographic evidence has been destroyed.

BLACKBELT IN: Putting together a great meal with whatever’s in the fridge.

GUILTY PLEASURE: I take my pleasures guilt free!

FORMERLY: Psychiatric Nurse 

COACHING STYLE: I believe that everything–including your most persistent struggles–is ultimately an invitation to reclaim your wholeness. I don’t do “self-improvement” because you are not a problem to be solved. Instead, I work with clients to uncover the renewed sense of freedom that arises when you stop trying to fix yourself and start living in alignment with your values and integrity. I use mindfulness, inquiry, and somatic awareness to help you to shift your operating system from outdated default settings to a new paradigm that works. My approach is gentle but sharp–you’ll be challenged to go beyond what you thought was possible.

 

True (and truly fucking inspiring) transformations

Before OM I thought that I was the only one struggling with knowing what I wanted in a relationship and how to ask for what I need because I didn’t want to be perceived as “High Maintenance”

After OM I feel so empowered and know exactly what I want in a relationship and am more confident in having the conversations that need to be had when the time comes!  You will dig deep, you will laugh, you will ugly cry and most of all you will feel loved and supported on your journey!
  • Sam, Little Rock
2018-12-08T22:18:58+00:00
  • Sam, Little Rock
After OM I feel so empowered and know exactly what I want in a relationship and am more confident in having the conversations that need to be had when the time comes!  You will dig deep, you will laugh, you will ugly cry and most of all you will feel loved and supported on your journey!

Some of my favorite things Kira has helped me to discover…

Teach people how to treat me, both in dating and at home with my kids.
Know what I want and need AND don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Start things the way you want them to end.

Kira has pushed me out of my comfort zone and out of my shell. She is willing to hold my hand if I really need it, but there are no unicorns here. 🙂

-Michelle, Toronto, ON

 

2018-12-08T22:21:08+00:00

-Michelle, Toronto, ON

 

Teach people how to treat me, both in dating and at home with my kids. Know what I want and need AND don’t be afraid to ask for it. Start things the way you want them to end. Kira has pushed me out of my comfort zone and out of my shell. She is willing to hold my hand if I really need it, but there are no unicorns here. 🙂

Working with Kira has been one of the greatest decisions I have ever made

When I heard about Kira I was struggling with being single and dating, looking for love in all the wrong places, chasing after fairytale romance, dreaming of a man to come along who would complete me. I hired Kira and she took me on an amazing journey of self discovery and taught me what real love is all about. Not only has she transformed my thoughts on love and showed me the reality of what relationships really are, she has been a friend and been by my side to support me when I try at this dating thing and it just doesn't work out. I am so thankful for all the knowledge Kira has shared with me and for all the awesome things I was able to learn about myself thought our journey together.

-Katie, UT

2018-12-08T22:22:00+00:00

-Katie, UT

When I heard about Kira I was struggling with being single and dating, looking for love in all the wrong places, chasing after fairytale romance, dreaming of a man to come along who would complete me. I hired Kira and she took me on an amazing journey of self discovery and taught me what real love is all about. Not only has she transformed my thoughts on love and showed me the reality of what relationships really are, she has been a friend and been by my side to support me when I try at this dating thing and it just doesn't work out. I am so thankful for all the knowledge Kira has shared with me and for all the awesome things I was able to learn about myself thought our journey together.

I know feel energized!

Ready to make positive changes in my life and ready to build great relationships. This class is life changing. Not only do you get to work on your own personal development but you make life long friends in the process.

- Corey, Hampshire, IL

2018-12-19T23:17:27+00:00

- Corey, Hampshire, IL

Ready to make positive changes in my life and ready to build great relationships. This class is life changing. Not only do you get to work on your own personal development but you make life long friends in the process.

After the OM I now feel FREE!

I love myself, I set boundaries, I know how to ask for what I need/want. I would recommend this to everyone.  Absolutely life changing!

- Melissa, Paris KY

2018-12-19T23:18:00+00:00

- Melissa, Paris KY

I love myself, I set boundaries, I know how to ask for what I need/want. I would recommend this to everyone.  Absolutely life changing!

I learned so much about myself.

I recognize now (and admit) that I need to work on my self-worth, self-compassion and setting boundaries. I'm aware of these things so that I can do something about it.


I would recommend this to other women to open their eyes, hearts and mind to those things that are keeping them from wonderful relationships, and not just with significant others, but with friends/family too. Even though things feel a little messy right now for me, I have a way forward. My life and relationships will improve through the skills I learned from OM.

- Becky, Las Vegas

2018-12-19T23:18:28+00:00

- Becky, Las Vegas

I recognize now (and admit) that I need to work on my self-worth, self-compassion and setting boundaries. I'm aware of these things so that I can do something about it. I would recommend this to other women to open their eyes, hearts and mind to those things that are keeping them from wonderful relationships, and not just with significant others, but with friends/family too. Even though things feel a little messy right now for me, I have a way forward. My life and relationships will improve through the skills I learned from OM.

Bags packed?
Let’s board the LOAS vessel.*

*It’s called the Relation Ship …
and I’m not even remotely sorry for calling it that.